Bed Time Stories

So the other day I started mysteriously receiving Martha Stewart Living in the mail. I love this magazine, despite this fact that I know that the vast majority of her projects are completely unrealistic for the average person without a staff of thousands. It just makes me warm and fuzzy to think that somewhere out there, there is a perfectly decorated house, whose garden is always in the appropriate seasonal stage, with a hot meal cooking in the kitchen, featuring some obscure ingredient I would never think to use like radishes or chanterelle mushrooms. In other words, despite the fact that it will never be MY house, at least I can dream of being invited to a house like that one day.

So in this month’s edition of the mag, there was an article about bedding. Different kinds, pro and cons, care, etc. I was reading through it to see how I stack up (I feel short, duh) when something jumped out at me. Pillows. Washing them. Now, what I’m about to say will probably elicit 2 totally different reactions, based on my straw poll so far. Half are you going to say “wait, I’m supposed to do that” and the other half are going to say “wait, you don’t do that?” My highly scientific research has taught me there is no in between. So, I’ve never washed my pillows before. (insert your response here) I wash the pillow cases, and the pillow protectors that they pillows slip into, but I’ve never ever washed an actual pillow before. Martha suggests doing it several times a year. Naturally. I immediately called my mom to see if I had somehow missed this step in her lessons on home care. She maintained that if you buy inexpensive pillows, you’re better off just replacing them because washing them will break down the filling. The problem with this being 1. pillows stick around my house for quite a while. I wouldn’t say forever, but maybe close. Throwing them away just seems weird/wasteful to me. And 2. I don’t buy cheap pillows! Back when I was traveling for work 5 days a week, and my closest friend was the doorman at the hotel, who always remembered my name and always told me he hoped I had an awesome day (and seemed to genuinely believe it), I got addicted to these pillows. I’ve tried switching back to the cheapies, but it just doesn’t work. So it looks like I’m going to have to start washing my pillows. A tip from Martha when drying your pillows: put a clean tennis ball in there and you’ll get a real nice fluff to them. Yes she has to specify clean for idiots like me who would have used Rip’s nasty tennis ball without even thinking twice. I tried this and concur. Of course I didn’t do a control run without the tennis ball so I guess I’m not very scientific afterall.

While we’re talking about bedding, can we talk comforters and duvets? I’ll take your silence as a yes. Anyway, it’s a pet peeve of mine when your comforter doesn’t fill your duvet cover adequately. I know there are wars going on in the world, a major recession here at home etc etc etc, but these are the things that weigh on me. All I’m asking is, why in heavens name are the most common (and affordable) Full/Queen comforters made square, but nice duvet covers are made rectangular. Even the rectangular ones, aren’t the right size rectangle! I’m sure it’s a conspiracy.