Mr. Bittman Is My Friend

So here's a small confession: I'm not really that good of a cook. I'm a good recipe follower, who benefits from knowing and being related to a lot of really talented cooks. Just because I can execute something that is written down, does not, in my mind, mean I'm a good cook. To me, a good cook is someone who can look at a recipe (maybe) and adapt it based on what's on hand, what's easier, or what will make it better. That is sooo not me. I like to be told when to add how much of what. And if do happen to stumble into a loosey goosey recipe that turns out well, not being able to recreate it drives me insane! But I do have a large, and ever growing, arsenal of cookbooks. Although, if forced to really think about it, I'm not even that good at looking at a recipe and knowing whether or not it will be good (but boy, can I spot the easy ones). My typical MO is to buy 2 copies of any cookbook that looks interesting to me, send one to the Hawaii Martinez clan, and sit back and wait to hear which recipes are good. They are the adventurous ones. I am the merely the beneficiary of their hard work.

Someone who I consider to be a very good cook (and artist for that matter. Why do those things always go hand in hand?) once told me that the best cookbook ever created was Mark Bittman's "How to Cook Everything." I quickly went out and bought it for the Hawaiians. They lived with the book for a couple years, confirmed the artists opinion, and then did the kind thing and bought it for me (no, I had not followed my typical MO in this instance). This book is pretty much a nightmare for "cooks" like me. Bittman typically starts with a general recipe, then follows it up with a lengthy list of variations that read more like a recipe from my Abuelita than what you would expect to see in a cookbook. "Try mixing this in" "Give this a whirl" Good lord Man!! Tell me what to do!? I think under different circumstances I wouldn't mind improvising, but let's be honest. I'm not working in some test kitchen where crappy things go straight to the trash. I'm cooking this dish to consume for dinner. If it sucks, there is no back up. And these dishes aren't doing themselves dude! There is nothing worse than facing a sink full of dirty dishes after a meal that didn't pan out. (ha! Pan.get it?) I mean, I don't do them per se. But man is the HSH going to be pissed, and you don't want to get on his bad side Mr. Bittman. But when I get something right from this book, man is it good. In recent history, I made a steak au poivre that belonged in the steak hall of fame (if such a thing does not exist, well damn it, it should), French Toast that descended from the heavens themselves, and my omelet technique has never been better. I know you're probably thinking: Halfstreet, you consulted a cookbook regarding omelets? To which I respond: please see paragraph one. Anyway, all of this is a long way of saying, I'm sticking with Bittman for now. It might be a torturous process for now, but I really do enjoy cooking. Quite a bit actually. I figure, we might have to suffer through some not so good meals, but in the long run it will make me a better cook. It would be nice to not feel like I have to put that word in quotes when referring to myself. Besides, as long as I'm not doing the dishes, to hell with it!

My willing, if not so discriminating, taste-tester