Gretchen's Bachelorette Party

Part Two: Why I’d Choose The Imel Girls To Be Stranded On A Desert Island With

The dawn broke on early Saturday morning, and the happy single-hood celebrators were up shortly thereafter. We had set an early alarm, so that we could tackle the car issue and get on the river ASAP. We didn’t really know what we had in store for us, and we didn’t want to waste the day working on the car with no time left for our intended purpose: canoeing! So we put on long pants, long sleeves, hats, closed toe shoes, and everything else we could find to fend of the Ticks. First stop: gas station to purchase some bug spray. Next stop: the cabin. After pretty much bathing in the bug spray, we delved into the woods to see exactly what we were in for. I have to say it looked pretty grim. To my inexperienced eye, I thought the car was pretty much a goner. Had it been me, I would have walked away and pretended that car never existed. (“Where’d the Saab go? What Saab? The one you left town in. I have no recollection of the car you speak of”). But there was no way the Imel girls were accepting defeat.

First we tried pushing. Nada. Nothing. Zip. Buppkiss. It didn’t even move enough to squish one of the millions of ticks that were probably swarming around us, wondering what that nasty taste on our skin was (DIE SUCKER DIE!).

Missy tries her hand at pushing.

Then we tried packing dry leaves and sticks around the tires, to give traction. Yup, still nothing. I was beginning to lose what little hope I had been clinging to. We discussed our options. Call a tow truck. This was tempting, but I don’t think I was the only one who cringed at the thought of receiving a lecture, or disapproving glare from whomever came to our ‘rescue.’ There is nothing more infuriating than being in a pickle, and having to endure a lecture from someone on the various ways you could have avoided it. HELP ME OR DON’T. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT THE HELL UP! Any option short of taking care of it ourselves, was not appealing to the group at large.

We devise a plan

So instead, a plan was hatched: use the jack from inside the car, to raise the car, and place the planks of wood we had gathered from the cabin underneath. It sounded good, and most importantly it saved us from the aforementioned lecture. So first the left side. We hadn’t lost hope that the plan was a good one, but it was immediately clear that there would be more sweat and elbow grease involved than I had anticipated. For starters, the ground was so damp that the jack initially just sunk into the ground without budging the car. We solved this with a piece of wood under the jack, which seemed to work. The jack was almost impossible to crank. Let me rephrase: the jack was impossible for ME to crank.

I try cranking, with no success.

Gretchen Missy and Sarah made it look like stirring a milkshake with a knife. Slightly depressing, but I got over it. The car got up in the air, the planks were placed beneath, the car was lowered, and it was immediately clear that we were geniuses. There was no WAY this wouldn’t work. All we had to do was crank up the other side and canoeing here we come!

We knew from the get go that the right side was going to be tougher. Unfortunately jacking up the left side first drove the right side even further into the Oklahoma mud. So far in, in fact, that there was no clearance under the car to place the jack. Lesser women (ahem, me) might have given up here, or cried, or both.

But the Imel’s would have none of that. I’m putting this next part in caps because if you weren’t there you can’t understand the importance of this: Instead of giving up, MISSY AND GRETCHEN BEGAN DIGGING IN THE MUD TO FIT THE JACK. THE MUD. DIGGING. WITH THEIR HANDS. TICKS AND OTHER CRITTERS BURIED DOWN THERE, BE DAMNED. I’M NOT LYING HERE PEOPLE. I stood in awe. Never again would I doubt the power of a determined person to achieve what they want. We had a place to be, and they weren’t going to let a little mud stand in the way of our good time. They were a total inspiration. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “give me a break. They dug a car out, big deal” Trust me. It was. You weren’t there. You don’t know. So you’ll have to take my word for it. What made it truly impressive was the fact that everyone had such a good attitude. It was unreal. Stick a bunch of men in the same situation and they might have got it done, but they would have been complaining the whole time. If a stranger was to have walked by, they never would have assumed the seriousness of our problem because we were laughing most of the time. Our plan worked. The car was out. We cheered, high-fived and then went on to canoe as if nothing had happened. For the Imel girls it was just another day. This is why, if you are ever stuck on a desert island, I HIGHLY recommend the Imel girls as your companions. Not only do you increase your chances of getting off the island 10 fold, but I’m pretty sure you'd arrive home with a smile!